Better Relationship Building - Do You Have Double Standards?

Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships: Healing the Wound of the HeartUnfortunately there are many times and ways people create double standards. Hidden rules justify that it is okay for one person to do something but not another. While people have different moral beliefs which creates variation the double standards rule is often applied between people of similar beliefs.

Do you have double standards in dating?
You can talk to and call your friend of another gender. When your spouse, life partner or significant other calls someone of another gender and suddenly trust and respect disappear. Perhaps you listen in or maybe you question everything. Accusations and anger may arise. Your partner deserves the respect. Both of you should respect the other.

Do you have double standards for genders?
One gender must do this, the other must do that. On many things both genders are just as talented. Men are chefs, women are architects. Jobs are not limited to gender, be that at work or at home. Women take care of the yard work, while men take care of the house work. It is what works for the couple. Then there is name calling. Men are called studs when women are tramps. Men are whipped when women are called supportive. There should be a middle ground instead of extremes.

Do you have different standards based on status?
Your brother is a jerk because he did not make it to your son's soccer game. He is single without children, it is after work, he has no excuses. When your friend without children says her sister was not there during a crisis, you say it is because she has a lot going on and has children. The only difference is who has children. Maybe you deem it wrong for married people to drink but single people can get drunk. In cases like these, there are no reasons for double standards.

Do you have double standards in friendships?
When you need help you will readily ask others. When they need help you will disappear. As soon as someone leaves the table you start talking bad about them. You are shocked to find out your friends talk bad about you when you are away. Maybe you call people names and are offended when someone calls you names. You will get respect when you treat others with respect.

Where else do you have double standards?
You may have different standards about who can do what at work. Maybe you have double standards about things with your family. Relationships are build on mutual trust, respect and feelings. Make your stance fair and even handed. If someone else is pushing their unequal standards on you, explain how it is not fair or ask how they would feel in a reverse situation. You can be respectful and create better relationships.
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